This is Chauvelin and I am sending in a resume for a new spy job. I hope to get some people's attention about me "almost" catching the Scarlet Pimpernel, and I hope they will hire me and not think of me as bad (or evil) and not hire me. You also might be wondering what happened to me after I went back to France and I was never seen again. Well that is not entirely true. I was in my jail sell after being accused of not catching the Scarlet Pimpernel, sitting and waiting for my turn to get my head chopped off. Well hopefully You do not have to wait like that. I was sitting there when a guard came by and dropped his gun just an inch a way from the jail door (which happened only to be bars.) I quickly tried to grab the gun but well... my hands were to big to go through the bars. Then just as soon as I tried to grab it a guard came running back and kicked the gun it went straight under the bars and landed at my feet. Yea!! I quickly grabbed the gun and shot the lock. The lock came off with no problem and I escaped my death. The french police were after me but gave up after a while. Not because they didn't want to go after me but because I was so clever, only if the Scarlet Pimpernel could have seen me then!!!
It was not very hard to escape France so there is no need to worry about me. Though you must already know this, and I have probably already said this... but I am unemployed, and I NEED A DARN JOB!! THE ECONOMY IS HORRIBLE AND IT IS SO HARD TO GET A JOB!!! (Warning Chauvelin may have bursts of anger management problems.) Sorry about that, sometimes I get extremely angry. Oh and I'm sure the STUPID WARNING THING HAS ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT HUH??!!!?? HAS IT WELL I"M SURE IT HAS!!??!?! YES I MAY HAVE OUT-BURSTS OF ANGER MANAGEMENT BUT YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME ON THAT!! Calm down Chauvelin, Calm down. Sorry I have to calm my self down many of the times. Ok maybe I got a little to angry when I beat up the Jew. But you can't judge me bye that can you!! HUH CAN YOU!!! CAN YOU?!?!? WELL CAN YOU!?!? Calm yourself down Chauvelin calm yourself down. Ok well I must go now and complete my resume. Bye!!
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Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Diary of a Wimpy Spy
October 20th, 1792
It has come to my attention that many are saying that I treated the Jew harshly. I say bologna to that. I completely disagree with those who say that. The Jews remind me of the clergy. The clergy is very wealthy and own the most land, making our country poorer and I’m the bad guy?! Give me a break. The Jew did not hold up the end of his bargain, and now I am off to go find the Scarlet Pimpernel with Desgas and my soldiers.
October 23rd, 1792
I figured out the most shocking news today, and boy am I mad! The Jew was the Sir Percy (the Scarlet Pimpernel) the whole time! That dweeb just won’t stop fooling me! I knew I should have killed him right there. Somehow he got away and I don’t…. know… MARGUERITE BLAKENEY!!!! Oh how dare that degrading woman!!! Now the guards are after me, and I just figured out that the woman from France, my native country, a dear friend, betrayed me! How, why would she do this!!! So close to catching and killing the Scarlet Pimpernel with my own hands, and yet so far.
Martin and me
A lot of people have been wondering what happened to me once I left to go find the Scarlet Pimpernel. Here is my sad story. Once we arived at our destination we waited for the Scarlet Pimpernel to arrive. We waited for about a day when we realized that we were just tricked by the Scarlet Pimpernel. I was quite devestated, but I don't give up. I decided to look some more. I couldn't, go back to France, because I might get guillotined for failing. When I was searching for the Scarlet Pimpernel in England, I wasn't sneeky enough. I walked up to a man and asked that man if he knew where the Scarlet Pimpernel was. He asked me why I wanted to know. I told him I am a French Spy looking for the Scarlet Pimpernel so I can send him to the guillotine. It turns out that man was a cop Of course he was a cop! I thought he was just a crazy man impersonating a police. So the cop asked me my name, and I told him Chauvelin, well things just started going downhill. He told me I was wanted my the police. After an unfair trial, I was taken to jail! Yes me, a Secret Agent Man taken to jail!
Jail wasn't as bad as I expected. I shared a room with a guy named Martin the 3rd. He was from Canada, but he hated it there so he spent all his life savings on a ship and left for England. He couldn't get a job there, so he starting robbing rich people especially Sir Percy Blakeney. Before he could spend the first penny, he was cought. I promised Martin I would get him out. That night as the guards were giving us our dinner, I escaped with Martin. The police were chasing me for at least an hour until I finally lost them. I looked over my shoulder to find that Martin was lost. He couldn't catch up. I was devastated. Even though I'd only known Martin for a couple of days, we'd been through a lot and he became the brother I had always wanted. So I made a decision. It was a very hard decision, but I had to do it. I was going to rescue Martin. It took me awhile to come up with a plan. Finally, I came up with one, but it was very, very risky. I would go jump the security guard at the main gate of the jail. If I'm lucky enough he will drop the keys. Then I would take those keys and open the room of Martin. If I have some extra time I will open the rooms of some other criminals, but only if they help me catch the Scarlet Pimpernel. Then we would run off. If we're lucky we will arive at a costume store. Then at the store I will get disguises for Martin and me. After that, we will try to get some decent jobs. That part will probably be the easiest because everyone wants their own secret agent man.
After five long tiring days my mission was a success. Everything happened the way I wanted
. I have criminals who are hunting the Scarlet Pimpernel for me. Martin got a job as a companion to the Prince of Wales. He promised that he would find as much as he can about the Scarlet Pimpernel. The only thing that didn't go the way I wanted it to was my job. I could not get one. Anyway my advice to you my readers is to look clearly at a person before you tell them your evil plan.
Jail wasn't as bad as I expected. I shared a room with a guy named Martin the 3rd. He was from Canada, but he hated it there so he spent all his life savings on a ship and left for England. He couldn't get a job there, so he starting robbing rich people especially Sir Percy Blakeney. Before he could spend the first penny, he was cought. I promised Martin I would get him out. That night as the guards were giving us our dinner, I escaped with Martin. The police were chasing me for at least an hour until I finally lost them. I looked over my shoulder to find that Martin was lost. He couldn't catch up. I was devastated. Even though I'd only known Martin for a couple of days, we'd been through a lot and he became the brother I had always wanted. So I made a decision. It was a very hard decision, but I had to do it. I was going to rescue Martin. It took me awhile to come up with a plan. Finally, I came up with one, but it was very, very risky. I would go jump the security guard at the main gate of the jail. If I'm lucky enough he will drop the keys. Then I would take those keys and open the room of Martin. If I have some extra time I will open the rooms of some other criminals, but only if they help me catch the Scarlet Pimpernel. Then we would run off. If we're lucky we will arive at a costume store. Then at the store I will get disguises for Martin and me. After that, we will try to get some decent jobs. That part will probably be the easiest because everyone wants their own secret agent man.
After five long tiring days my mission was a success. Everything happened the way I wanted
. I have criminals who are hunting the Scarlet Pimpernel for me. Martin got a job as a companion to the Prince of Wales. He promised that he would find as much as he can about the Scarlet Pimpernel. The only thing that didn't go the way I wanted it to was my job. I could not get one. Anyway my advice to you my readers is to look clearly at a person before you tell them your evil plan.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Chauvelin: Anger Managment Problems
I am Chauvelin, and I am going to be talking about my anger management problems. I think you have found out that i get angry very easily. When I get angry, I GET ANGRY!!!! I have been going to an anger management class, and it has worked a little. I still need some more classes but in about a year I will have very little anger management problems. I HATE THE NOBLES AND KINGS A LOT!!!! Sorry anger problems. I still want the nobles and the king to go the guillotine. I hate the Scarlet Pimpernel, I WILL RIP HIS HEAD OFF, sorry anger problems again.
Where I have been going for my class is called Anger Management Support Groups, in Paris. It has been teaching me some things so i wont have anger management problems. I have been feeling good about the classes. I might be able to get a better job if I dong have anger problems. I WILL NOT HAVE ANY MORE ANGER PROBLEMS AND I CAN GET A BETTER JOB HOPEFULLY. If I get a better job I will not have to always be haveing to track down the Scarlet Pimpernel and have the risk he minght escape and then I will go to the guillotine.
I hate anger managment classes though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is Chauvelin
Where I have been going for my class is called Anger Management Support Groups, in Paris. It has been teaching me some things so i wont have anger management problems. I have been feeling good about the classes. I might be able to get a better job if I dong have anger problems. I WILL NOT HAVE ANY MORE ANGER PROBLEMS AND I CAN GET A BETTER JOB HOPEFULLY. If I get a better job I will not have to always be haveing to track down the Scarlet Pimpernel and have the risk he minght escape and then I will go to the guillotine.
I hate anger managment classes though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is Chauvelin
My opinion on the Stinking English society
Hello again!! I don't really understand how I came about this job but I must write something about the stinking English!! Well I guess it won't hurt me to write about the stinking English but it might hurt them!! Ha ha!! So the English like operas. Well my opinion on operas is I think they are rubbish!! Rubbish I tell you! They have no fun in them! None! What is fun is trying to catch the Scarlet Pimpernel! Speaking of operas' and the Scarlet Pimpernel I think the Scarlet man himself likes them! He is my enemy but I feel so bad for him because he must go to those stinking long and boring operas! He must come "hang out" with me!(then Ill capture him! Ha ha!) My opinion about the English ball, and parties are they are parties for the rich, and famous but they have no parties for the "poor", or the non first class nobles. That is why I hate the monarchy. Oh, and there are tons more things that I can go on and on and on about, about the Stinking English but It would be wasting my time talking about the Stinking English "poot" I spit on them. Well I guess that is all I have to say about the English society because it is so boring. Well I hope you enjoyed my comments on the English society if you are French. I sure did! Ha Ha!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Chauvelin: Sir Percy Being the Scarlet Pimpernel
Here I am again, Chauvelin. I am proud to say I know who the Scarlet Pimpernel is. However, I have yet to catch him. I must say, I did not expect the Scarlet Pimpernel to be Sir Percy Blakeney. For as stupid and dull as he is, he did a pretty good job of keeping it a secret. Either Marguerite was being ignorant, or she didn't even know, which might be the case. Sir Percy did an exquisite job hiding it. While at Lord Grenville's ball, I had suspicions that Sir Percy knew who the Scarlet Pimpernel was, considering I found him sleeping in the supper-room. He did know apparently; it was him the whole time, the one that stole our prisoners from being guillotined right under our own nose! How could that stupid, dull, ignorant man come with up those ideas??? He couldn't have thought of it himself, oh no. I am quite shocked, though, that of all of them, the richest man in Europe and the dullest man in all of Europe, Sir Percy Blakeney was the Scarlet Pimpernel the whole time. Huh, at least I know now who was causing us Frenchmen so much trouble.
I really must be going now. I must think of a scheme to fool that wretched Scarlet Pimpernel a.k.a Sir Percy Blakeney. I say, "Good day to you," and beware Sir Percy Blakeney!!!
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I really must be going now. I must think of a scheme to fool that wretched Scarlet Pimpernel a.k.a Sir Percy Blakeney. I say, "Good day to you," and beware Sir Percy Blakeney!!!
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Friday, April 9, 2010
I am a Secret Agent Man
Hello my dear fans. I have found out about a song that really describes me it is called "Secret Agent Man". It's by this guy named Johnny Rivers. It is very cool in fact it's so descriptive of me I've decided to paste the lyrics at the bottom of the page. For example on the first line it says "There's a man who leads a life of danger". Danger is my life! That is why I became a secret agent man. " To everyone he meets he stays a stranger". I think that's supposed to mean he is a master of disguise just like I am. "With every move he makes another chance he takes". I am willing to do very dangerous stuff to catch this Scarlet Pimpernel. "Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow". If that Scarlet Pimpernel gets a hold of me and finds out that I have been spying on him he would kill me.
I love the name Secret Agent man. That's why I named by blog Secret Agent Man. After I found out about the song I felt my life was perfect except for the fact I haven't caught the terrible Scarlet Pimpernel.
"Beware of pretty faces that you find. A pretty face can hide an evil mind". One of those people at Lord Grenvilles Ball must of been the Scarlet Pimpernel. Alot of those people were very rich and pretty faced and the Scarlet Pimpernel is definitely evil. People call me evil, but it was the nobles that were charging us to much taxes and the best way of revenge is the guillotine."Ah, be careful what you say or you'll give yourself away". I can't go telling everyone that I am going after the Scarlet Pimpernel. One of those people I tell could be the Scarlet Pimpernel. "Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow". If I told the wrong person I was after the Scarlet Pimpernel I could get killed.
After that is a guitar solo. If I wasn't a Secret Agent Man I would probably be a guitarist. I would be so cool and my band name would be called " The Secret Agent Men" or maybe "The Scarlet Pimpernel Killers". After the guitar solo there are more words. "Swingin' on the Riviera one day and then layin' in the Bombay alley next day" I could be on a search for the Scarlet Pimpernel one day. Then on the next I could be in danger. "Oh no, you let the wrong word slip". All because I told the wrong person about my search. "The odds are you won't live to see tomorrow" Like I said before if they catch me and find out what I've been doing I could get killed.
I also love the tune of this song. It is very catchy. If I could meet anyone in the world Johnny Rivers would definitely be on my top 5 list. He is so cool. I have all of his songs. Out of all his songs Secret Agent Man is my favorite.
As I've been writing this I've discovered this also describes the Scarlet Pimpernel. If I caught him he would face certain death. I guess the Scarlet Pimpernel is also a Secret Agent Man. I wonder if the Scarlet Pimpernel reads my blog. I bet he's trying to find hints of where I will be next. I wonder if he knows I'm after him. Who would dare interfere with French Society. During the American Revolution we didn't take the Americans to France. I think this is enough about the Scarlet Pimpernel, I could have a whole blog about my feuds with the Scarlet Pimpernel. If there was a contest between the Scarlet Pimpernel and me to see who was the better Secret Agent Man, I bet I would win.
There's a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger
With every move he makes another chance he takes
Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide an evil mind
Ah, be careful what you say
Or you'll give yourself away
Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
[Lead guitar]
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Swingin' on the Riviera one day
And then layin' in the Bombay alley next day
Oh no, you let the wrong word slip
While kissing persuasive lips
The odds are you won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Secret agent man
PS:If you are reading this Scarlet Pimpernel I will catch you!
I love the name Secret Agent man. That's why I named by blog Secret Agent Man. After I found out about the song I felt my life was perfect except for the fact I haven't caught the terrible Scarlet Pimpernel.
"Beware of pretty faces that you find. A pretty face can hide an evil mind". One of those people at Lord Grenvilles Ball must of been the Scarlet Pimpernel. Alot of those people were very rich and pretty faced and the Scarlet Pimpernel is definitely evil. People call me evil, but it was the nobles that were charging us to much taxes and the best way of revenge is the guillotine."Ah, be careful what you say or you'll give yourself away". I can't go telling everyone that I am going after the Scarlet Pimpernel. One of those people I tell could be the Scarlet Pimpernel. "Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow". If I told the wrong person I was after the Scarlet Pimpernel I could get killed.
After that is a guitar solo. If I wasn't a Secret Agent Man I would probably be a guitarist. I would be so cool and my band name would be called " The Secret Agent Men" or maybe "The Scarlet Pimpernel Killers". After the guitar solo there are more words. "Swingin' on the Riviera one day and then layin' in the Bombay alley next day" I could be on a search for the Scarlet Pimpernel one day. Then on the next I could be in danger. "Oh no, you let the wrong word slip". All because I told the wrong person about my search. "The odds are you won't live to see tomorrow" Like I said before if they catch me and find out what I've been doing I could get killed.
I also love the tune of this song. It is very catchy. If I could meet anyone in the world Johnny Rivers would definitely be on my top 5 list. He is so cool. I have all of his songs. Out of all his songs Secret Agent Man is my favorite.
As I've been writing this I've discovered this also describes the Scarlet Pimpernel. If I caught him he would face certain death. I guess the Scarlet Pimpernel is also a Secret Agent Man. I wonder if the Scarlet Pimpernel reads my blog. I bet he's trying to find hints of where I will be next. I wonder if he knows I'm after him. Who would dare interfere with French Society. During the American Revolution we didn't take the Americans to France. I think this is enough about the Scarlet Pimpernel, I could have a whole blog about my feuds with the Scarlet Pimpernel. If there was a contest between the Scarlet Pimpernel and me to see who was the better Secret Agent Man, I bet I would win.
There's a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger
With every move he makes another chance he takes
Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide an evil mind
Ah, be careful what you say
Or you'll give yourself away
Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
[Lead guitar]
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Swingin' on the Riviera one day
And then layin' in the Bombay alley next day
Oh no, you let the wrong word slip
While kissing persuasive lips
The odds are you won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Secret agent man
PS:If you are reading this Scarlet Pimpernel I will catch you!
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